Laplap and Laughs

Paama Mamas making laplap

Batman

Embrace NOW

Just finished reading The Power of Now by E. Tolle and so much of what I took from this book has made me realize that I must embrace what is happening this very moment…that the “noise” we so often listen to in our heads can be way too cumbersome to our psyche. Instead of thinking about the past…wishing to get a moment back or wanting to erase a bad memory… it’s all putting too much pressure on us and preventing happiness, contentment, enlightenment so to speak. Likewise thinking about the future (which I am very much guilty of doing)…the indulgences of Port Vila to come in 34 days or the next chapter of my life after Peace Corps also prevent me from truly enjoying this time here. I have plenty of time to think, reminisce and pine but instead I need to be present and to not think so much and to push out the noise.

And interestingly enough, the Ni Vanuatu may have it all figured out. Like I’ve mentioned before, they lead a simple life on the islands…they go to the gardens every few days in order to feed themselves or make a mat for an upcoming event but otherwise, there’s less noise. Daily, you find the people here are sitting around, chatting and enjoying nature. There’s no hurry here…when I say “island time”…it truly explains what life on the islands is about.

When I do get to go to the capital, Port Vila, I am always busy, getting work done, meeting up with friends and attending various social events. While on the islands, my days are rarely filled with busy work. RTC class, a meeting (starting hours later, if at all) or event (again, starting hours later) on the islands happen weekly and the rest of the time is spent gardening, preparing food, eating, enjoying nature with family and friends and oftentimes waiting. As for me, reading of course, watching Heroes and movies (thanks, Ivan!) and various other projects help to fill my time and as the sun is setting, I make visits to households to storian with my village, eat and in bed by 9pm. And that’s island life…one that I am learning daily to embrace and enjoy.

My Sunset 32nd Birthday

My family and I started loosely planning my birthday party a week ahead…who to invite (the village, community, elders?, to send invites?), food (of course laplap and cake) and venue (ah…the event planner in me, getting to use the word venue…fantastic).

Wonderful Ivan sent care packages filled with goodies…cookies, glowsticks, a bottle of whiskey for my papas and uncles (as well as mental relief for me of movies and Heroes). My mama, sister and best friend Elsie began food preparations in the morning…my sister and I grating manioc (my fav) for laplap, baking cakes and my mama killing a couple chickens in minutes, I can attest.

My papa set up a tented area on the sandbeach, some uncles and brothers began ramming kava, building a bond fire and kids picking beautiful flowers for décor. Was this really happening? A full on birthday party?
I was tired after making food (remember, this means over a smoking, hot wood burning fire), carrying mats to the beach and setting up but seeing it all pulled together I was ecstatic. By 5pm, people started arriving with food and some with presents…I received 5 island dresses, soap and laundry detergent (very common birthday presents on Paama) and got doused with baby powder (previous posts explain this custom). I got to join the papas and brothers for kava and conversation (storian) then hula hooped with the kids and helped mamas share food. The sun began setting, they sang happy birthday/hapi long laef and with a nice kava buzz, glowsticks glittering, we ate and laughed together. A fabulous 32nd birthday indeed.

MidService Reflection

After an indulgent couple months away from site, I arrive back to Paama’s small airport in Tavie where my host Papa greets me and we row the canoe about 40 minutes to my village…in the rain. During the arduous but peaceful (although this time wet) canoe ride to my home, I find out that some guys had broken into my hut by cutting the screen and then stealing various items of which were mostly returned. (Mom and Dad, don’t worry, I’m very safe here, promise)

So, not only was my hut infested with ants (which I then have to massacre) and spiders (which I don’t mess with because they eat other bugs) but I also come back to it broken into. My Papa forewarned me and explained how all the chiefs and elders from the nearby villages came together after having caught the young man who committed the crime as well as to meet to discuss apologizing to me.

That's my house on the left side, nestled in the hill, RTC has the white roof.

I was disheartened a bit …a new year, my last 12 months of service and it’s not started out quite positively. On the contrary though, I was comforted…a blessing in disguise really.
It was late when I was settled and after unpacking a little, had dinner, I was under my mosquito net falling asleep to the sound of the singing crickets and insect orchestra…not wanting to think about readjusting back to village life nor this fiasco. My meeting with the community chiefs and elders would take place in the morning.

I awoke to the roosters crowing and birds whistling, did my usual morning yoga and then coffee. I made my way down to the nakamal (village gathering place and also a place to drink kava) where they awaited to meet with me. The Tahi chief, Joshua (28 year old new chief who I work with and respect a great deal) began the meeting with an explanation of what occurred, apologies from the village and how much they hoped I would not want to leave. The chiefs and elders of neighboring villages stood up to apologize and appeal to any desire of my wanting to leave. A Mama also gave a speech.

After their toktoks (speeches), it was my turn to respond. And here’s what I said in Bislama (followed by its translation)

Mi tink se yufala bin tink bae mi cros wetem wanem I hapin mo mi no harem gud.
I think that you all have thought that I would be angry with what happened and that I would not be happy.

Be mi harem gud from se mi save yufala bin tink hevi long wanem I bin hapin mo bin tink abaot tink tink blong mi mo wanem bae mi mekem.
But I am happy because I know you all have been worried about what has happened and how I would feel /react.

Taem we mi bin stap long Amerika, mi no bin tink abaot ol samting long haos blong mi, be mi bin tink abaot yufala…ol famili blong mi long Paama.
When I was in America, I did not think about all the things in my house, I was thinking about you all, my family in Paama.

So I continued to talk about how a year has passed and how at home I felt here. My village and community truly are a family and I feel entirely safe here. (Mom and Dad, again, don’t worry!) They actually thought I would want to leave Paama. But I explained how could I leave family when I only have a year left with them?

This gave way to a good time to reflect on a year passed, now midway…several weeks in as I write this and as another volunteer, Sandy Su explains it so well…

A “mid service meltdown…what is it about being smack dab in the middle of something that freaks even the most rational of human beings out so much? From the infamous midlife crisis to the dreaded ‘hump day’ or even getting the middle seat on an airplane, people who find themselves in the midst of things tend to get a little uncomfortable.

Maybe it’s the fact that you’re caught equally between the beginning and the end so you can’t help but worry about both the past and the future at the same time. The end isn’t in sight yet and the novelty and excitement of the situation you had at the beginning has worn off. Maybe it’s that upon reflection of the past you realize things aren’t where you hoped they would be at this point, so you panic a little.”

So, there are good days and bad (thus is life) and tears still come and go some days because a year still does seem like a long time. It also makes me think about how difficult and sad it will be to leave when my service is complete. The strong and everlasting bond I’ve formed with this place, these people who will forever be a part of me.

They often tell stories about Jamie, a former volunteer here in my village and what a legend he is! And they talk about how alike I am to Jamie, in the sense that I am so well integrated and part of the Paama family. What a complement this is and I realize that as much as I come here to “help” them…in so many ways, they are helping me grow, learn and discover what life is all about.

My Two Lives

Now that I have completed a year of service (plus 3 months of training) and I've had the opportunity to visit stateside, I've had some time to reflect on this past year and the experiences I've had. While home, most people asked me simply, "How's it going over there?" and that is quite the loaded question really and I often answered, "Well, good and bad...such is life for most people, right? For me in Peace Corps, the highs are high and the lows have been my lowest lows."

My experiences both here in Vanuatu and the visit home has helped me dissect what is it that makes me/us happy? We in the "western, modern" society have plentiful choices (the menu of drinks at a coffeeshop or the number of cereals, ice cream, bread and so on), material things (so many people have iPhones now), luxuries (there's medication to help eyelashes grow? Really?) and technology (the amazing twitterability to not only stay in touch with hundreds of friends but to know their hourly play by play).


Then there's my village life...simple and primitive. No electricity which means no T.V., internet, no Starbucks or Walmarts, no Blackberries, no cold drinks or fast food, little to no access to the people outside of the country although people do travel by ship sometimes to other islands. Stores here are small, carrying only some necessary items...rice, tin fish, soap, candles and such.


Most of our days consist of being awaken by the sound of roosters crowing (although they crow almost hourly, no alarm clock) by 6am although my Mama gets up at 4am, then building a fire to make tea and boil some plantains for breakfast. Afterwards, kids are sent off to school, some washing is done, feeding of the pigs and chicken that roam free around the house, moving the cows, cutting wood, and then a hike to the gardens (and I do mean hike because of the hills). Lunch of boiled kumala (sweet potato) and island cabbage then a nap because it's too hot to do anything else! By 5pm, the men often drink kava together and the women are preparing for dinner, washing some more and caring for the children. Lots of time is spent just hanging out, sitting and "storian" or chatting. When do we ever have time to do that unless we plan meals together or weekends? I eat dinner with my family around 6pm, take a bucket shower, read in bed by 8:30am and asleep by 10p. What a life.

The Ni-Vanuatu lead simple but happy lives without being inundated with to do lists, schedules, TV programs and activities. And really, they don't know any better although I storian with them about my life in the states and how busy I always was. It's been two opposite ends of the spectrum...my two lives. Reflecting on both, I appreciate both. If I could just have family and friends here, it would definitely make life easier. Not to mention a shower, flushing toilet and electricity.

So, I realize I will miss this one day...my simple Peace Corps life in the village. It was great to see my friends, their kids and their busy lives which makes me appreciate what I have now more than ever. While it seems selfish to be miserable some days, I can't help but miss my busy life in the states. The grass is always greener, I suppose.

I am off to Paama today...bittersweet. Thanks again, Mom and Dad for your support and to my friends whose well wishes and love help get me through. I think of y'all everyday.

A peak into Amy's Peace Corps Life

Home for the Holidays...and one more year to go

Home for the holidays...one I'll never forget. Much like my Peace Corps experience, the highs have been high and the lows sometimes lower. It's been a whirlwind and I've been overwhelmed physically (it's SOOOO COLD...I've been living near the equator, remember), emotionally (many people to visit but not enough time) and culturally (so many choices, things and characters). Regardless, I feel so fortunate and grateful for the support and love that I have felt from my beloved family and friends.

One thing I never expected to experience was a breakdown here...at home! Peace Corps advised us that it would be tough to acclimate back into society and it's not the abundance of cars, stores, TV programs and material things that set me back but re-connecting with my family and friends. Not only was my time limited which caused guilt for not spending enough time with each person but not having that consistent contact the past 15 months and then trying to resume where you left off was difficult. Babies are born, kids grow up and lives change...

There is no less love or support but missing out on 15 months of my loved ones' lives is quite a bit. I yearn to catch up and make up for that time but it's nearly impossible. Pictures and stories help but I've learned to accept this and enjoy the present. I realize that there is the future with those I love and that Peace Corps is my journey. It's okay to be selfish (yes, I feel selfish) and to embrace this time and place where I am disconnected. It is only 27 months of a lifetime that I will have this opportunity.

First and foremost, I've felt so guilty for not spending more time with my parents. (My mom had to ask me when I could block out time for her!) And above and beyond, my mom and dad have given me the most amazing support through this experience, not to mention my entire life. Not only did they allow their only daughter, their only child, to live on the other side of the world for two years but they've always provided me with the encouragement and ability to discover the world and to grow. Thank you Mom and Dad for a beautiful life.

With only a couple more days left...I wish I had more time with my parents and family. I regret not having more time to spend with friends. I'm sorry if I did not get a chance to see you but know that you all are in my thoughts often (I have lots of time to think). Y'all help get me through and I am forever grateful for your love and support. All my love, amy