Elsie arrived to Paama eight years ago from Pentecost (another island in Vanuatu), where she was born and grew up. She was a student at an RTC there and also worked in Port Vila. When I approached her about a possible teaching position at the RTC, I had no idea her qualifications and basically went out on a limb. Lucky for me, she was talented, smart and not scared to be involved. It’s been a real challenge here to find individuals who are not embarrassed to talk in front of a group, let alone to teach or lead.
Elsie became an amazing teacher and leader in the community. Not to say that I made her this way, it was always in her, but giving her the opportunity to show her talent and encourage her was all she needed. She’s been a Godsend to me and she often tells the story of how she had dreamed about an angel coming into her life to help her.
A successful year at the RTC and other groups began to recruit her as well. She became the Vice President of the PWMU (Presbyterian Women’s Mission Union) and also a leader in her village. She was also an integral part of the youth camp that Brianna and I held. When she presented and led sessions confidently and enthusiastically, I felt so proud. Along with her work, she tends to her garden, village fundraisers, events and raises two sons.
While she progressed professionally, I also found my best friend on Paama. I have my host family, of course, who I adore but Elsie and I enjoyed kava together, talked about life, relationships and had loads of laughs. She was always dependable and I could trust her with anything. I truly felt at home in Paama having her in my life.
Sadly, I had to say goodbye to Elsie. After being away in Port Vila, I arrived back to Paama hearing that she might be leaving and I immediately went to visit her last Friday. She said she was expecting me as I walked up to her as she defeathered a chicken for what turned out to be her “last kakae”. One custom or tradition here are what’s called last kakaes (last meals) which is a goodbye meal before one leaves, as I will have at the end of my service.
Elsie and I prepared food to put on the fire and began making kava, which is the first time I’ve ever prepared kava solely with someone. As we ram the kava, she tells me why she is leaving…
Her husband who is working in Port Vila and has been for a year now, has left her to live in his village and while she’s managed well, she’s also faced hard times with her village and some men have “creeped” her which means coming to her house and wanting to “hang out” or what not. She’s rejected them but rumors start as they will…coconut wireless as it’s called here. The two men were fined, she felt shamed and people just kept talking about her. Jealousy of her new positions, the attention, her friendship with me all likely had a part in her having to leave. Without the support of her husband as well, she found she could not stay.
I was devastated to be losing my best friend as well as an RTC teacher. I cried, she cried, we drank kava and tried not to think about her leaving and the next morning I walked with her to the airport. Gave her a couple photos of her and her kids and one of her and me with a note about how our friendship will always be.
Since then, I’ve talked to her several times and she’s found work in Port Vila so while I won’t get to spend time with her here in Paama, I’ll join her for a shell of kava whenever I'm in Port Vila.
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