Home for the Holidays...and one more year to go

Home for the holidays...one I'll never forget. Much like my Peace Corps experience, the highs have been high and the lows sometimes lower. It's been a whirlwind and I've been overwhelmed physically (it's SOOOO COLD...I've been living near the equator, remember), emotionally (many people to visit but not enough time) and culturally (so many choices, things and characters). Regardless, I feel so fortunate and grateful for the support and love that I have felt from my beloved family and friends.

One thing I never expected to experience was a breakdown here...at home! Peace Corps advised us that it would be tough to acclimate back into society and it's not the abundance of cars, stores, TV programs and material things that set me back but re-connecting with my family and friends. Not only was my time limited which caused guilt for not spending enough time with each person but not having that consistent contact the past 15 months and then trying to resume where you left off was difficult. Babies are born, kids grow up and lives change...

There is no less love or support but missing out on 15 months of my loved ones' lives is quite a bit. I yearn to catch up and make up for that time but it's nearly impossible. Pictures and stories help but I've learned to accept this and enjoy the present. I realize that there is the future with those I love and that Peace Corps is my journey. It's okay to be selfish (yes, I feel selfish) and to embrace this time and place where I am disconnected. It is only 27 months of a lifetime that I will have this opportunity.

First and foremost, I've felt so guilty for not spending more time with my parents. (My mom had to ask me when I could block out time for her!) And above and beyond, my mom and dad have given me the most amazing support through this experience, not to mention my entire life. Not only did they allow their only daughter, their only child, to live on the other side of the world for two years but they've always provided me with the encouragement and ability to discover the world and to grow. Thank you Mom and Dad for a beautiful life.

With only a couple more days left...I wish I had more time with my parents and family. I regret not having more time to spend with friends. I'm sorry if I did not get a chance to see you but know that you all are in my thoughts often (I have lots of time to think). Y'all help get me through and I am forever grateful for your love and support. All my love, amy