After an indulgent couple months away from site, I arrive back to Paama’s small airport in Tavie where my host Papa greets me and we row the canoe about 40 minutes to my village…in the rain. During the arduous but peaceful (although this time wet) canoe ride to my home, I find out that some guys had broken into my hut by cutting the screen and then stealing various items of which were mostly returned. (Mom and Dad, don’t worry, I’m very safe here, promise)
So, not only was my hut infested with ants (which I then have to massacre) and spiders (which I don’t mess with because they eat other bugs) but I also come back to it broken into. My Papa forewarned me and explained how all the chiefs and elders from the nearby villages came together after having caught the young man who committed the crime as well as to meet to discuss apologizing to me.
That's my house on the left side, nestled in the hill, RTC has the white roof.
I was disheartened a bit …a new year, my last 12 months of service and it’s not started out quite positively. On the contrary though, I was comforted…a blessing in disguise really.
It was late when I was settled and after unpacking a little, had dinner, I was under my mosquito net falling asleep to the sound of the singing crickets and insect orchestra…not wanting to think about readjusting back to village life nor this fiasco. My meeting with the community chiefs and elders would take place in the morning.
I awoke to the roosters crowing and birds whistling, did my usual morning yoga and then coffee. I made my way down to the nakamal (village gathering place and also a place to drink kava) where they awaited to meet with me. The Tahi chief, Joshua (28 year old new chief who I work with and respect a great deal) began the meeting with an explanation of what occurred, apologies from the village and how much they hoped I would not want to leave. The chiefs and elders of neighboring villages stood up to apologize and appeal to any desire of my wanting to leave. A Mama also gave a speech.
After their toktoks (speeches), it was my turn to respond. And here’s what I said in Bislama (followed by its translation)
Mi tink se yufala bin tink bae mi cros wetem wanem I hapin mo mi no harem gud.
I think that you all have thought that I would be angry with what happened and that I would not be happy.
Be mi harem gud from se mi save yufala bin tink hevi long wanem I bin hapin mo bin tink abaot tink tink blong mi mo wanem bae mi mekem.
But I am happy because I know you all have been worried about what has happened and how I would feel /react.
Taem we mi bin stap long Amerika, mi no bin tink abaot ol samting long haos blong mi, be mi bin tink abaot yufala…ol famili blong mi long Paama.
When I was in America, I did not think about all the things in my house, I was thinking about you all, my family in Paama.
So I continued to talk about how a year has passed and how at home I felt here. My village and community truly are a family and I feel entirely safe here. (Mom and Dad, again, don’t worry!) They actually thought I would want to leave Paama. But I explained how could I leave family when I only have a year left with them?
This gave way to a good time to reflect on a year passed, now midway…several weeks in as I write this and as another volunteer, Sandy Su explains it so well…
A “mid service meltdown…what is it about being smack dab in the middle of something that freaks even the most rational of human beings out so much? From the infamous midlife crisis to the dreaded ‘hump day’ or even getting the middle seat on an airplane, people who find themselves in the midst of things tend to get a little uncomfortable.
Maybe it’s the fact that you’re caught equally between the beginning and the end so you can’t help but worry about both the past and the future at the same time. The end isn’t in sight yet and the novelty and excitement of the situation you had at the beginning has worn off. Maybe it’s that upon reflection of the past you realize things aren’t where you hoped they would be at this point, so you panic a little.”
So, there are good days and bad (thus is life) and tears still come and go some days because a year still does seem like a long time. It also makes me think about how difficult and sad it will be to leave when my service is complete. The strong and everlasting bond I’ve formed with this place, these people who will forever be a part of me.
They often tell stories about Jamie, a former volunteer here in my village and what a legend he is! And they talk about how alike I am to Jamie, in the sense that I am so well integrated and part of the Paama family. What a complement this is and I realize that as much as I come here to “help” them…in so many ways, they are helping me grow, learn and discover what life is all about.
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